Tuesday, November 1, 2011

thinking of him

Still, after trying for half an hour, I cant even sleep. My heart keep beating fast. Yes, I am thinking of him. Of his perception on me, of my performance, of my attitude. All these while I was too shy to meet him and tell him of how I feel. Loser me. And now I am so nervous. I hope it is not too late to change. I want to prove to him that I can do it. But I am afraid at the same time. I guess, I am heading toward depression.

He, who I am thinking is my project supervisor, Prof Dzol. from what I heard, he is a great lecturer who has contribute a lot in this agriculture sector, toxicology industry specifically. So, why should I keep worrying getting an awesome supervisor? I felt so tense to reach his expectation. Or maybe I should say, my own expectation. I don't want to look dumb in front of him at the same time I cant do it. I don't wanna look like a total loser. What the hell should I do? I am fucking worried at the same time, cant think anymore. woooowooo......sounds like very frustrating. True, that is how I feel right now.

Ok, Ok, thats life. To cheer things up, lets move to good news. Today, I just confirm my tittle (while some of my friends has finished writing proposal). And due to some problems, my department (Plant protection) will held the presentation seminar next two week. It is a total relieve for me. Even we have to submit the extract on next Tuesday, I cant just sit and relax because Prof will be away next week for seminar in Indonesia. So, after expressing my insecurities and doubt here, hopefully I am now ready to face tomorow!!! Grrrrrrr.

Token of Appreciation
A zillion thank you to my beloved Mother for the new and awesome laptop. To Anisah, thanks for the advises babe. It is simple but I really appreciate it. To Gedil, thank you for lending your laptop. To Amer, you have grown up, man. I am proud of you. To Mistake, are you hiding from me?


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